con and dungeon rules
hi! thanks for coming to this lil’ queer kink con! this is our fifth year, and it’s sure to be a memorable hunk of chaos and euphoria. it takes all of us to make this functional and magical. let’s all work and play together!
rules vs guidelines
a rule is intended to support community safety and we expect everyone will adhere to them. the consequences for going against a rule are that your behavior will be interrupted and you will be invited into dialogue.
a guideline supports community care and as a way to demonstrate community care, we ask community members to seek intentional ways to stay, play, and freak within guidelines.
con rules
have your id for proof of kinky adulting at all times
you must wear your badge each day for entry and throughout the con
covid things
if coming from out of town, or in-town, traveling on public transit, please mask with a k95
rapid test daily - bring your negative rapid test to the con for check in
the event is masked* (*medical exemptions accepted) except when:
eating/drinking
outside (the fully enclosed tent is still considered inside)
teaching/demoing
actively playing in the dungeon
we are experimenting this year with mask breaks in which folks can move to the back of the class and remove their mask for a few minutes at a time for a break
and more…
do your best to not assume anyone’s gender. ask for pronouns. if corrected, apologize and try to nail it for the rest of the con. if the behavior persists, you will be invited to educational dialogue with a producer.
we understand everyone is on a different journey with their understanding of and relationship to oppression. we hope this space can be a learning space. if there is an incident of insensitive or inappropriate behavior expressing ingrained doctrines of white supremacy, fatphobia, misogyny, misogynoir, racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, transphobia, etc. please text “720-663-0793” and someone will meet the offending party to offer education.
if someone exhibits overt aggression or gaslighting about someone's experience, they will be asked to leave immediately without a refund.
enthusiastic yes = consent. if it isn’t there, back off. this includes things like hugs and hands on arms, not just sex or play. by all means, shoot your shot, but if the answer is “no”, leave it there.
no photography, except outside the venue. when photographing, ensure no one else is in the shot without permission.
no intoxication. we know that some people may smoke cannabis or have a few drinks with dinner. we firmly ask that you do not consume so much that your ability to give or get consent is altered. if someone is obviously intoxicated, they will be asked to leave the con until they sober up.
no sex in the conference space outside of dungeon hours. we understand you may be flirting, in dynamic, or spanking peaches - sex here is defined as penetration (by person or object) of any orifice below the belt that produces fluid, insertion of genitals into an orifice, or touching another's body in a sustained way in an attempt to climax.
outside of the venue please cover up your tingly bits. in the venue, wear whatever you like. do not engage in explicit scenes or sexual behavior outside of the dungeon play hours.
con guidelines
be mindful of the volume in proximity of classrooms during classes.
if you see something that needs to be done, and you have the energy for it… go for it! e.g. water needs to be refilled, coffee needs to be made, a trash can is full. this con is only possible because of shared contribution which includes spontaneous contribution.
(optional) wrist band flagging is for both play and casual conversations throughout the day. you may choose to select and wear a wrist band. there are inherent flaws in this method - we have attendees who are blind, folks may wear something that obscures a wrist band, it’s possible to miss a cue (even a wrist band). please consider all interactions as likely coming from best intentions.
white means go! people wearing white wristbands are open to friendly conversation and to chatting about play. if someone says they are not interested, then kindly exit the interaction.
yellow means slow up! people wearing yellow wristbands are open to friendly conversation, and may discuss play, but they will bring it up.
pink means stop! people wearing pink wristbands do not want to be approached for casual conversation or about play, but may end up approaching others.
dungeon play
general party rules
clean all surfaces after any use - when you are done using a space, clean it! make sure to put down puppy pads (i.e., “chucks”) if you anticipate body fluids happening. leave your play space ready for the next kinksters to have some good, clean fun.
do not move or change the lighting, music, dungeon furniture, or supply locations.
no intoxication
no urine, scat, or vomit play
no breath play
no branding
no cannibalism
no cop, nazi, or fascist scenes
no guns
cover any surfaces that are porous prior to use
body fluids protocol: blood, spit, cum, etc
whenever possible, cover surfaces that will come in contact with fluids
even if covered, disinfect surfaces that came into contact with fluids
contain fluids to the play surfaces/area; no splatter or projecting of fluids outside the play area
cover or clean parts of your body that come in contact with fluids prior to touching people and/or objects after your scene is finished
with fire and wax play
must have at least two wet towels ready to extinguish fires
cover any surfaces for wax play
dark age play in the little's area is allowed after 10 pm
dark age play = anything you would not do with a natal child
express yourself, but do not engage in extended bouts (2 minutes or more) of loud sounds such as screaming, wailing, laughing, loud play toys, etc.
stay inside your scene station. if you might take up a lot of space with a toy like a flogger, choose a space that contains your scene completely. max station size is 8 x 8, so plan accordingly.
if edge play, consensual non-consent (cnc), or any play that could be perceived as edgeplay or cnc is planned, please let the dungeon monitor know. we know these are vague categories; we ask that you err on the side of letting the dm know. dm's will interrupt a scene to gain information if edge play activities are not discussed with a dm prior to scene starting. please have all participants present when notifying the dm.
a dm may intervene if there is a safety concern, please be courteous as they assess the situation.
if any member of your scene will be gagged or otherwise not able to say “red”, please speak to a dm to inform them of an alternative communication of a safe word.
the dungeon closes promptly at 1am. be done with scenes and ready to go by 1am, this includes aftercare.
consent must be enthusiastically established and respected by all play partners
the dungeon safeword is “red”. if you call red, a dm will monitor the situation, if you call red more than once a dm will intervene and stop the scene. you may also call red more than once to signal the need for a dm related to first aid or another emergency.
never touch someone else or their toys, props or other property, without asking and receiving permission.
watching other people’s scenes is encouraged! but make sure you’re giving scene participants enough space (especially when things like flogging are happening-anticipate the back swing).
do not interrupt or join other people’s scenes.
if you believe there is a safety concern happening in a scene, please find a dm.
don’t assume the words people use for their body parts; don’t openly comment about people’s bodies assuming specific words.
if you want to engage onlookers in your scene, gain consent before proceeding.
dungeon guidelines, etiquette, and general info
be mindful of time, do your best to share the space.
dms are on the job and they will be visibly marked as dms. they are your first touchpoint if you need something.
please respect people’s privacy and level of kink outness. please use people’s scene names and what happens at the play party, stays at the play party.
all dungeon equipment is being lent to us by our community. treat all equipment with care.
if you damage equipment or find damaged equipment, report it to a dm immediately.
if you are facilitating an educational experience in the dungeon, please limit the time to under one hour and limit participants to an amount that fits in the immediate scene space (i.e. no overflow into walkways or bleeding into other scene stations).
the first aid station is located at registration.
safer penetration and clean up supplies are provided. some surface covers will be provided, but err on the side of bringing surface covers unique to your scene, e.g. wax, blood, fluid play.
harassment + consent violations
unabashed’s response to harassment and consent violations strives to be centered on those who have experienced harm. this means that in the event of harassment or another consent violation, we work to prioritize the desires, safety, and well-being of the person who has been harmed. the diy nature of this con means that we are the folks that keep us safe - and each of us has a responsibility to everyone around us to seek consent and respect.
our volunteer dungeon monitors (dms) are there as first-on-call folks for any issues you might have during play parties. they will wear bright construction vests throughout the evening to be easily recognizable. their role includes:
intervening in the event “red” is called and a scene does not stop
being informed of which scenes/participants will involve consensual non-consent (cnc), edge play, or anything that could be perceived as edge play or cnc (please help with this by checking in with dms ahead of those scenes!)
observing the play parties at large and checking in about anything questionable outside of scenes
answering questions for players about the space or play more broadly
if you experience harassment or consent violations, we encourage you to find a dm first. dms are there to:
listen - dms will make sure the person who was harmed feels safe enough to speak, and is then both heard and understood
act - dms contact a producer who will offer options for moving forward up to and including removing the person who caused harm from the event, and may involve the producers on call
check in - a dm (or producer) may check in with someone who was harmed later in the evening (or, in the case of a producer, potentially later in the con)
document - a dm (or producer) will document the incident for follow up
additionally, at least two event producers will be on call at all times throughout the event, including at the play parties. dms will know which producers are on call, which is why we encourage you to approach them first.
ultimately, we believe in transformative justice. that means two-way accountability. we are human, we will mess up, and we want to live into our values - and we believe that’s possible in community. thanks for understanding!