what to expect
a whole lotta queer delight.
lots of friendly queer kinksters.
kink conventions offer a great way to meet people, to visit and learn, and to obtain many new ideas.
attendee-only play parties.
the energy level at events is usually pretty high, and you get to see how different people play. many people “dress up” for the parties. dressing up for queer kinksters often includes (but is certainly not limited to!) lingerie, fetish gear, costumes, “traditional” leather gear (think leathers vests, dark clothes, leather boots), and flashy outfits.
not much sleep.
people often go hard at the play parties and underestimate the energy it takes to learn and be present. you’ll probably be tired at the end of the weekend - make sure to give yourself good aftercare.
no obligation to play.
if you’re new to the lifestyle, it’s important to know that you don’t have to play (at the parties or anywhere else)! you are free to just watch. If someone asks you to play and you’re not quite ready, say something like, “No, thanks, I’m new to the scene and I’m just watching and learning.”
seminars, discussions, activities, etc., given by great presenters on a variety of topics.
sometimes it seems like all the best seminars are scheduled at the same time, so be prepared for “seminar selection stress”.
a whole range of intense emotions.
expect to be amazed, surprised, delighted, shocked, startled, amused, and more. sensory overload and unexpected emotional reactions are not uncommon, especially if you are new to kink or kink events. if it gets to be a bit too much, find a quiet corner to sit in and just watch for a while, or find someone to talk to about how you’re feeling.
keeping track of your badge.
you will be asked to show your event badge to access the space after you have registered. (yes, even if you just left and turned around because you forgot something.)
pick-up play welcome.
pick-up play - play that isn’t planned ahead of time - is definitely welcome. if you are interested in playing with someone, don’t be afraid to ask for references, and be sure to negotiate the limits of the session. (If you don’t know how to do that, ask one of the event volunteers, they’ll be able to find someone to help!)
a broad spectrum of diversity in the kink community.
you’ll see lots of different kinds of people, hear lots of different viewpoints and opinions, and see lots of different kinds of relationships and play. people tend to “pull out the stops” at these events, and some of the action can be very unusual. it’s important to come with a very open mind - everything that happens at these events is consensual, and it’s all a learning experience. (even just thinking about *why* you reacted in a certain way to something can be a valuable learning process.)
a community that expects everyone to know and follow the rules.
READ THE RULES for the event and the play parties! don’t just browse them quickly and sign them at the registration desk. the rules are important, and staff enforces them very strictly for the protection of the event, the attendees, and the venue. we’ll have them on the website ahead of the event - study them and make sure you understand them.
needing to pause to eat.
food is important. we’ll feed you lunch both days, but eating a quality breakfast can keep you from dragging until we get there. if you aren’t a breakfast person, consider bringing some snacks. (okay, just consider bringing some snacks in general.)
respect, courtesy, tolerance.
give it and get it. if you’re new to kink and you make a mistake or find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, tell the other person that you’re new to the scene and you’re not quite sure what’s going on. they will very likely understand and explain things to you. we were all new at one time, and we remember what it was like.
this page is based on and inspired by “What To Expect At Your First Leather Event”, written by Master Grey for Thunder in the Mountains, Denver, CO.